As I'm flying quite often lately, I obviously have time to think about different things - even if before I had the opportunity of doing nothing, I of course wasted that precious time doing something.

Different things, such as: starting from the idea that a person denying their roots denies a part of their identity and ending with a whole speech, that I forgot as soon as the plane hit the ground.

Or: listening to weird music during a late flight, when the aircraft is just partially illuminated, leaves you space for even more over-thinking and over-analysing. 

Not thinking at all from time to time would be a welcomed relief, but we shall have time for peace later on.

Today I found this video, of a guy who crashed with the plane in the Hudson river.
Initially, I was just curious to see what it would be like to go through such an experience, but after listening to the guy finish his speech, I realized I am already considering the first 2 things he mentions. And I did this even before I got to go through such a shock...while for the 3rd, I already know I will be a kick-ass parent. So, happy Birthday to me, seems like I am not old for nothing. :-)

I 

Some music in my headphones, if you please:

I dreamed about becoming a dancer since I was 8 - 9 years old. 

But I didn't tell my parents about it, nor did I push myself enough to do it. So first time I stepped in a dance class it was already too late for me to be able to make a career in dancing. 

Note to self: If I ever get to have children, I will encourage them to tell me what are they dreaming about. Most of all, I will encourage them to dream and to never stop believing that dreams do come true, even if sometimes the necessary workload might be more than what other dreams would require. 

I lost so many things so many years, just because I was afraid or to shy to ask for them.

Now I still look at videos like the one below...like that 8 years old little girl used to watch a Russian ballet show on a black and white TV, dreaming that someday she will be the most graceful swan on the lake. :-)

...but the crowd called out for more.

Like that time when I wanted to get some sleep and instead I had a billion thoughts, rushing altogether through a tiny gate inside my brain.

Or like that time when I had maybe too much to eat and I felt sorry for eating that much, but promising  myself I will surely taste that again.

ARK from grzegorz jonkajtys on Vimeo.

You either have it. 

Or you don't.

50% chances for you to make it, which is still not such a tragic case, one might say.

But it's not enough. 50% chances are never enough for you to be able to touch the stars from the floor of the small room you've isolated yourself in by now. They can merely help you grab a stool and stand on it, but your hands will barely even reach those shinier 65% chances. 

One might also say that 65% chances do sound better than the 50% you had before grabbing that small stool in the corner. So you listen to one's voice and now you get the courage to go even higher. Thus said, minutes later, you're standing on a stool, with a broom in your hand, stretching your body towards the ceiling. 

85%. 

Not bad, not bad at all, I'm quite a bit impressed.

I might dare to say that you do look a bit ridiculous, you know. ;-)) 

A grown up, standing on a stool, holding a broom, stretching like a kid for the candy on the top shelf. :-) 

But you're not hearing me anymore, do you? 

Of course you don't. Now there are only 15% chances between you and your desired 100%, so you forget in a glimpse about my annoying voice...now you're thinking only about what you should do to get your remaining 15%. 

You take a look around, but there's nothing else in your tiny room. In your tiny, isolation room there's just a silly grown-up, standing on a stool, holding a broom, reaching to the lamp. 

So the silly grown-up decides to jump. 

50% chances to fall, 50% chances to make it work. 

Oh, Alice...

You go get them 15% chances, girl. :)